I keep my embroidery cottons in an old coffee jar (hopefully mum doesn't mind that I stole one of her jars). This is pretty good. It gets better though. They now smell faintly of the coffee inside them. This next part involves questions, so will the pregnant women and those that are faint of heart leave. Come at the **'s. ** I do not take any responsibilities for bad reaction to this. Is this a good thing? Are coffee smelling embroidery cottons really that good. Is it worth it? And if I were to put a coffe flavoured embroidery thread in there, would the world explode from all of the coffeeness? Should I put a warning out on national television? Warning: we are under threat! The coffee meter is about to implode, resulting in the world exploding. So everyone, for the sake of everything, don't give into the temptation of putting coffee flavoured embroidery cottons into old coffee jars, the humorous, yet deadly results are not worth it. Obviously. No one would be alive to laugh. They would just glower. If they were alive.

To make yourself look skinny, but not be dead, you really should either wear really tight clothes or really lose clothes. If you wear tight clothes, you have the advantage of it pulling in all of your weight. This will, of course, end up destroying your muscles, but, hey, is that really such a bad thing? The downside to this is not the muscles losing strength (who needs strong muscles), but the risk of the clothing bursting. That could be awkward. Especially since your muscles now have so little strength.

The other option was: loose clothing. It means that no one can tell how fat you really are. The downside to this is that people will assume your obese. But hey, that means that society has grown more unflattering abut assumtions. This is an important piece of information. I'm sure we can use this to our advantage is some way.

I have invented perfection. This object shall be used until the end of time. It shall never grow old, it shall never grow useless. It can never be replaced or improved upon. It is, essentially, a hot pink hairbrush and fan hybrid. It can be use to brush ones hair, then (this is the clever part) the fan can dry off the hair and cool off the person at the some time! It is pure brilliance. My only fear is that one day, some one will make a cheap ripoff: A blue hairbrush and fan hybrid. Disgusting, tasteless piece of junk. I will have to add some kind of device that makes the said hybrid capable of destroying any competiton. Also those really annoying clips that will not close on my hair becaus I have put too much hair in it! They are so annoying.

Today I woke up, had brekky, showered, went on the computer, watched some TV, met Geoff, saw Narnia, went to the shops, had dinner went on the computer, typed this up. All without talking.

Wow, mimes are really annoying. I mean how many people born with the power of speech decide to abuse it? Just the bloody mimes.

 

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